Friday's Letters

• Dear Fatigue... Go away. You make my day miserable. If only I didn't work 5 days straight, you wouldn't be here and hanging out too long with me. 
• Dear Green Bay Packers. Monday's was total bullshit. We all know that. We all moved on and let's focus on Sunday's game against the Saints. Thank goodness of the real refs to be back in business
• Dear "Call". I don't really like you but it's kinda okay if I do "see" you (que the cha-ching). Just please don't happen in the middle of the night. That's my resting time, you know. Day shift is okay because day shift people are more friendlier to me at the hospital. True Story. And they know my face.
• Dear Southern California. Did you not get the memo that it's fall already? Why do you have to have a PMS heat wave in the next couple of days... SERIOUSLY 108 F in RANCHO CUCAMONGA ON MONDAY? You've got to be kidding me. Did Autumn not knock you in the penis and said that it's enough with the heat? C'mon now, dude. I want to wear my cardigans and boots, mkay.
• Dear Chimmy, why did you have to vomit on the floor while I was chillin on the massaging chair? I had to end my session and wipe your crap. Thanks.
• Dear Father. I'm glad that you personally asked the Pillow to translate you for your sermon tomorrow at church. To be honest, I'm so proud. It show signs of approval. Seeing the 2 important men in my life up on the podium preachin' the Word will be epic. I know people will tease me and the Pillow right after during the potluck. Oh Geez. Oh and please don't preach too long. My butt can't stand the hard seat.
• Dear Pillow, I hope you don't get nervous and start mumbling weird English translation tomorrow for Father. I know you can do it. 
• Dear God, I pray for a miracle. Any kind of Miracle. I would really appreciate it.

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